A walk through the hallways during passing period at Bloomington High School South is a chance to see a wide array of clothing. Vibrant colors, unique graphics, unorthodox combinations of fabrics–and of course, there is great diversity from the ankle down. South students wear all sorts of shoes, anything from robust pairs of Timberland boots to comfortable and timeless Adidas Ultraboosts. Alas, our thriving ecosystem of footwear is being threatened by an invasive species, a virus even. That virus is the Hey Dude.

Hey Dudes are blocky, bland, unattractive shoes. They look like rafts, as if their wearers need flotation devices to traverse the school hallways. Inexplicably, there has been an explosion in the popularity of Hey Dudes. Everywhere you turn, your eyes are scarred by a pair of these monstrous shoes and their unfortunate wearers. 

So what is the appeal of Hey Dudes? Senior Mitchell Lyles said they are “comfortable, reliable, stylish, and affordable.” He claimed they are “ready for all occasions. [He]’s even worn them during workouts before. They are the future.” Alas, Mitchell is another sailor who has fallen victim to the Hey Dude siren song. Articles of footwear are a glimpse of character, and when you wear Hey Dudes you tell the world you have given up, that you cannot go through the pain of wearing a more formal, stylish pair of shoes. 

You may ask ‘Why does this matter?’ Why can’t people wear Hey Dudes like they wear any other shoe? But this is a selfish question. Here you are assuming that others are unaffected by the shoes you wear, that they can somehow ignore the monstrous things on your feet. But this of course is not feasible. People will see your shoes, and they will be affected. It is unfair for many to suffer so that one person can brandish their Hey Dudes. 

Of course Hey Dudes are inexpensive, and this is the draw for many. Junior Kayden Long said Hey Dudes are “comfy, and you can wear them with anything. They’re cheap, so that’s nice too.”  But I would argue that the similarly priced shoes from other brands are superior in every way, from build quality to comfort to looks. If price is a concern, there are a plethora of cheap options that don’t require stooping to a pair of “Dudes.”

I feel I have made my point by now; clearly I (and many others) detest Hey Dudes. And so I must insist, with conviction, that it is time to say ‘Goodbye Dudes’ and welcome in a new era of footwear, free of this blight on our school.